Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast
The Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast offers insight into the world of the Highly Sensitive Person, and helps those who identify with the traits of high sensitivity to feel more empowered and resilient without denying their authentic gifts.
Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast
Embracing our Power & Authenticity as Highly Sensitive People with Aubree Brown
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In this episode I talk with Spiritual Life Coach Aubree Brown who is based in Boulder, Colorado. We explore what is meant by spirituality and the spiritual path. We also discuss Aubree's work in helping people to show up as their full, real and raw selves and how connecting with our inner truth can lead to systemic and collective change. Finally, we explore the importance of connecting with our authenticity and the challenges that can come with this as Highly Sensitive People.
About Aubree Brown...
Aubree is a Spiritual Life Coach, highly sensitive person, and social justice advocate. As a Life Coach she helps Spiritual Seekers, Sensitives, & Empaths find radical alignment & aliveness by stepping off the beaten path and creating the lives they feel called to. Her work combines spiritual-, somatic-, and liberation psychologies to help clients find their own sense of freedom & fulfillment, and disrupt the status quo.
She works out of Boulder, Colorado and coaches women and queer folks all over the world.
Stay in touch with Aubree Brown
Website: aubreebrowncoaching.com where you can subscribe to her mail list to receive the free guided visualization.
Instagram: aubreebrowncoaching
Facebook: aubreebrowncoaching
Other Resources mentioned!
Healing Trauma, Peter Levine
Empath Survival Guide, Judith Orloff
More about your host, Jules De Vitto....
Jules De Vitto is a transpersonal orientated coach and educator who is experienced at helping Highly Sensitive People overcome anxiety, stress and burnout.
Jules is Highly Sensitive herself and is also passionate about helping Highly Sensitive People to step into their authentic power and align with their true purpose in life. She lived in Asia for eleven years before moving to London and integrates Eastern practices and modern-day mindfulness into her work.
She has a degree in Psychology, an MA in Education and an MSc in Transpersonal Psychology, Consciousness and Spirituality. She’s a published author through Changemaker Books and John Hunt Publishers and wrote Resilience: Navigating Loss in a Time of Crisis to help people through the Covid-19 Pandemic available here.
You can stay connected with Jules through her...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highly.sensitive.humans/
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/highlysensitivehumans
About the Host: Jules De Vitto is a transpersonal coach, trainer and experienced educator for Highly Sensitive People. She helps those who identify with the traits of high sensitivity to navigate emotional overwhelm, step into their authentic power and align with their true purpose in life. She is a published author and wrote one of a series of books on Resilience, Navigating Loss in a time of Crisis. Her research has also been published in the Transpersonal Coaching Psychology Journal and Journal of Consciousness, Spirituality, and Transpersonal Psychology.
You can stay connected with Jules through...
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The Highly Sensitive Human Academy™ - join our 3-month professional training: coaching Highly Sensitive People
Welcome, I'm your host, Jules DeVito, and you're listening to the Highly Sensitive Human Podcast. The show that offers an insight into the world of the highly sensitive person and helps those who identify with the traits of high sensitivity to feel more empowered and resilient without denying their authentic gifts. As a life coach, she helps spiritual seekers, sensitives, and empaths find radical alignment and aliveness by stepping off the beaten path and creating the lives they feel called to. Her work combines spiritual somatic and liberation psychologies to help clients find their own sense of freedom and fulfillment. She works out to Boulder, Colorado, and coaches women and queer folk all over the world. So, welcome and thank you so much for being on the podcast today. I'm wondering, can you just share a little bit more about the work that you do in terms of working as a coach and with highly sensitive people?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. I feel really honored to be here. Thanks for having me and welcoming me so warmly. So I'm, as you said, a spiritual life coach for Seekers, Sensitives, and Empaths. Most of the people that come to me feel lost, anxious, uncertain about both their literal life paths and their spiritual life paths. So I help them get clear on who they are, where they're going, who they want to be, and really what their spiritual orientation is as well, so that they can make decisions that are really aligned for them and have fewer regrets later on in life.
SPEAKER_01Brilliant. That sounds really interesting. And I'm wondering, would you be able to say a little bit more about the spiritual life path or the spiritual orientation? What do you mean by that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so I believe that we are all, we all have our own spiritual paths. Um, and for some people that can look like religion. For some people, that looks more amorphous, like um, you know, agnosticism or believing in the universe. Um, and for other people, it's something a little bit more defined, um, like listening to um, you know, listening to their spiritual selves, listening to their intuition, to their own wisdom, to, you know, deliberately trying to connect with the divine. And really, I don't have um, I don't have a preference for who comes to me in that way. You can have any spiritual orientation um or religion, but really it's helping you to define um how you make your decisions and and really like what your life purpose might be. So um however that looks for you, it's like tuning into whatever divine is for you so that you can make decisions that feel really, really good for you. Um and so yeah, does that answer that question?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, definitely. And that feels really important as you mentioned, tuning into what is divine in us. Um, I feel that is something that isn't often spoken about, especially in terms of coaching. I know that a lot of coaches do work from a spiritual perspective, but um there's a lot of people who seem to miss that piece out. And I feel it is so important, especially working with highly sensitive people or empaths or those on the spiritual path. So yeah, I really resonate with that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and to me, you know, I guess my orientation to spirituality, um, you know, I wouldn't say I have a defined lens, and you know, again, clients can come from wherever they're coming from. Um, but really it's I I like to emphasize listening to the body and the spirit and the heart and the parts of ourselves that we're not really encouraged or taught how to listen to in our current society. Um, you know, we often believe that wisdom comes from the head and logic and rationale, and that's a part of it, you know, being intellectual and being intelligent and using our logic to make good decisions is also important. But a lot of what I do with clients is tuning into other areas of intelligence, um, like I mentioned, including, you know, spirit, whatever that is for you, and um using and connecting with those areas to get other information so that you're not caught up in the mind, which is often linked to and caught up in um what am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to be thinking about the past and future? Whereas the body and the spirit and the instincts and intuition are all um somewhat brutally honest and kind of tell us who we truly are. They have a lot of intelligence there for us. So that's a big part of my coaching with clients.
SPEAKER_01Brilliant. And I'm wondering, with all of that being said, what is it that inspires you or drives you to do the work that you do?
SPEAKER_00You know, that changes from time to time as we as coaches and practitioners change as well. But really for me, it's about helping clients bring their whole selves to the picture and to the table. So, you know, that's really to me, the process of doing that is getting clear on the limitations, both internal and external, that are keeping you from doing that. Um and I believe that in getting clear and healing the internal limitations that creates ripples outwards. Um, there's really no way for it not to. And that can change your life, and that can actually change systems. Um, so I believe collective healing is possible when we really turn inward and shift the things that keep us small, that keep us in a box, and um, you know, slowly and deliberately and compassionately work on those until we're free and we can be free in the world and really bring who we truly are to the table.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I really love that idea of um starting from the inside and working outwards. So you're saying that it begins internally and then that can impact the collective and the system instead of starting from the external and working inwards, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, I believe once we're really clear on who we are, you know, I I take um, I'm a queer person, and so I take um kind of queer liberation psychology and apply it to my work too. And that is, you know, for a lot of queer queer folks, it's you know, once you have self-realizations and um discover who you really are, there's often a liberation process that follows. And I believe that's true for everyone, regardless of uh sexual or gender orientation. And you know, getting clear on who you truly are and what your medicine is and what your gifts are and what your potential is, and having confidence and strength in that, like there's no way for that not to change, you know, even if it's subtle, but subtly changing your community, changing the people you interact with. Um, it can lead to career changes, it can lead to clarity that we can't foresee. Um, you know, when you step into coaching, it depends on the person. But there's no way for that truth and that excitement and that like liveliness not to ripple out to other systems. And then there's people for whom like disrupting systems is what they want to do, and so having the inner fortitude to be true and strong in what you believe and who you are, and not um back down to be unapologetic. That's a lot of the work that I feel passionate about is helping people get to that place of inner strength and clarity so that they can really make whatever changes they want in life. And then for some people, that means changing systems as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that feels so again, it feels so important for people like you mentioned to really discover who they are. Um, I come across so many people who seem to be very disconnected from that truth and that authenticity. So to really step into their power and allow themselves to be to be free and to liberate themselves, and then how that has an impact on the external, external, like you said, I think that is yeah, really profound. So thank you for sharing about that. Um so obviously, this podcast is about highly sensitive people, and I'm wondering: do you consider yourself to be highly sensitive? And if so, what what's your story in relation to that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. Always have been. Um I don't know that that enters later in life for anybody, it's just who we are. Um yeah, you know, for me, it um it's been a journey, as I think it is for most people. I think earlier in life it was a lot of struggle and challenge being highly sensitive. I didn't know, I knew that I was different. Um, and that's true in a number of ways, not just in high sensitivity, but I knew that the way that I saw the world and the way I processed information, um, the degree to which the environment I was in affected me. All of those things were different from the way they seemed to be for other people. And I didn't have an explanation or really any understanding of why. Um and that was really challenging. Um, I think both for me and people around me. Um, you know, there were a lot of accommodations that I felt like I needed in certain circumstances that people just couldn't understand or meet because they didn't know what was going on. And I was a child, so I couldn't articulate what was happening for me either. So, you know, for me that meant a lot of tantrums, that meant a lot of nervous system dysregulation, and um, you know, as a child, really having no way to alter that or control my environment the way that I needed to. And um, you know, that changed when I was about 17. Um, I uh that was when I first heard the term highly sensitive. That was when the research was starting to come out with Elaine Aaron, and I was flipping through a magazine and saw um highly sensitive people, and I was like, this makes so much sense. I just have more mirror neurons in my brain. I have a biological reason for why things are the way they are, I have an explanation, you know. So for some people that's super empowering, and it was for me. Um also at a similar time I read, um, I think you and I um both love uh Susan Kane's book, Quiet. And that um that also, you know, that's a book about the power of introversion. And for me, being an introvert, that was also like the first time I saw myself. Both of these were the first time I saw myself um reflected in an empowering way. So um that was a big part of the journey. And then at 17 or about that time, I also started therapy with a a woman who was also highly sensitive and understood me and saw me and saw my potential in a way that um people hadn't before. And so I was able to see myself and see my gifts. And it's been a long journey since then, but um, you know, now I relate to my sensitivity very differently than I did when I was a kid. Thank, thank goodness. Um, you know, I see it as a gift. Um, I'm really thankful and grateful for it. Um, it allows me to do this work, and I probably wouldn't have pursued, you know, a healing path or a spiritual path without being highly sensitive and the struggles it brought early on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, thank you. And I can relate to so many of the things that you just shared. And yeah, we did speak about Susan Kane and the book Quiet, and that keeps on coming up in so many conversations that I'm having with people at the moment. Um, it's definitely had a big impact on a lot of people. Um and also, as you mentioned, the the label of high sensitivity, it does feel empowering. The same thing happened to me before I didn't have a label to uh make sense of my experience, but having that label really does um give a framework for it. So I'm I'm really glad you mentioned that and the significance of that. So, in terms of the work you do, you so you've mentioned um the spiritual path, you've mentioned helping people to access their truth and come into alignment with that and working from the external, the internal and impacting systems. So, how does that all relate to helping the highly sensitive person or how could it relate, do you think?
SPEAKER_00So, you know, being in the highly sensitive world or being a coach for highly sensitive people, um you know, there's a lot of people who whose job and whose mission is to help highly sensitive cope and um you know manage their high sensitivity. And there's an aspect of that in my work, but I don't, I've never felt like that was my calling. Um, I feel like that's really important work, but that's not quite what I do. So um there's an element of that, you know, with clients. We do, if there are things coming on board for them that they're struggling with, um, there are millions of coping tools and and techniques to offer if that's needed. But really, my work is to help clients um, like I said, show up as their full, real, raw selves to stop hiding, essentially, um, stop apologizing, stop people pleasing, um, which I see as patterns um, you know, that are somewhat secondary to being highly sensitive. It's ways that we have learned to cope in the world. Um, and so really getting to the root of those patterns, um, healing the inner child who feels lost and forgotten or hurt or unseen, um, you know, through through many different modalities, but really getting to the root of that so that um yeah, they can show up fully and and feel alive, you know. There's an aliveness and a vitality and an excitement um when we're not hiding who we are, um, and when we're when we're happy. To me, that leads to happiness. I don't know about you, but um, yeah, that's more of more of my goal with clients.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and again, it it just feels everything you're saying is so important. I resonate with this idea of um people pleasing and these patterns of apologizing and hiding, and definitely I'm still on this journey. I haven't fully got there. These these patterns still show up in my life, but definitely embracing uh my truth has become a lot easier. Um, and I don't struggle with it as much as I used to when I was younger, as I think you mentioned earlier as well, with the sensitivity at least.
SPEAKER_00Um yeah, and I want to say to that too, you know, um I am too. Like I'm naming these patterns because I've absolutely experienced them, and yeah, there's it's even as practitioners, um there's no end point, and we are often on a similar journey as our clients, but a few steps ahead or many steps ahead, it depends. But so these are these are absolutely my struggles as well. I see these patterns within myself and have learned to some degree to navigate them and disrupt them and heal them. Um, and that's why I feel so passionate about it with clients as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. And um with that being said, also earlier, when you mentioned the spiritual path, I'm also on a spiritual path, and that's been a huge part of my journey. Um and I would say that has come with so many struggles, like the unfolding of these patterns and of the ego and trying to step beyond that um has brought up so many limiting beliefs and parts of my shadow that can be really, really painful at times. So I'm wondering from your experience, what has been one of your biggest struggles on this journey?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the biggest struggle I think, um, and this is like the more subtle aspect of the work that I do. Um, you know, but for me, it was understanding myself um and seeing and you know, loving myself as I am. Um I think, yeah, I think for a lot of highly sensitive people, like I mentioned in my story, there's something of this mystery of like, what the heck is going on? Um like why am I so different? Why do I experience challenges that other people, many people don't seem to relate to? Um and you know, I think for many years that led me to believe that there was something wrong with me and that the way I was, and you know, what I would now call my high sensitivity was an impediment. Um and I received that message from from several places that it was something that I needed to get over or toughen up or you know, just barrel through. And my nervous system and my brain just wouldn't allow me to do that because being highly sensitive is a fundamental aspect of how you're wired, but it's not something you can like leap over or overcome, and it's not something you need to either, which wasn't something I learned until later. So um really just not seeing and appreciating myself as I was, and high sensitivity was a big part of that. Um that that was probably my biggest challenge, and that led me to the healing work, which led me to more spirituality and studying psychology and becoming a life coach and the path that I've been on now. Um, so yeah, I am really grateful for this gift, but definitely as a as a kid and a young person, I would not, I did not relate to it the same way at all.
SPEAKER_01And is there something in particular that has like a particular tool or um resource that you You've been able to apply to your life that has helped you really see or appreciate you as you are, as you mentioned.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, there's been, you know, there's been many iterations and many modalities and many practitioners that I've tried along this path. And there's been a couple that really created big changes for me, um, specific to my sensitivity. And um the first one was energy clearing and like energy clearing techniques and visualizations. Um that was really the first thing that helped give me a sense of power and control over my sensitivities. So I didn't feel like I was just reacting to my environment all the time, you know, by visualizing, you know, myself in white light or, you know, visualizing um what I needed in that situation, you know, if I wanted, you know, this is more somatic actually, but like if I needed um in my head, so asking myself, what do I need in this situation? If it's like a dog, you know, to cuddle me so I feel more safe, or if it's a wall between me and the person who's next to me, um, who's you know, who I'm not enjoying their energy or what they're saying, like visualizing that, um your brain doesn't know the difference. So um learning those types of coping tools and many others, there are probably five that I use in my daily life pretty regularly when um I'm either out in the world or just not feeling fully like myself. And those have brought me a lot of power and feeling empowered in my sensitivity. And then um the next, the other one that I guess has really changed things for me was um somatic healing. I started um as a client of a somatic coach when I was about 20, um, and she became a mentor, and um that's now a lot of the work I do with clients, and somatic just means, you know, for listeners, that just means the body and listening to the body and um rather than just the head alone, and um you know that was really, really transformational work for me learning to ground and learning to you know feel my skin and feel that I'm not just um awash and at the whim of um what's around me, that I have a body, that um I have boundaries and I can speak them, um you know, as well as like processing really big emotions. Emotion and trauma live in the body. So learning coping tools like shaking and pushing walls and um, you know, letting my body do what it needs to do to process big emotions so that I'm not always stuck and just feeling kind of crappy. Um, that's how it was for me before. And um lastly, just learning the wisdom, like the information that's in the body that I had no idea was there until that point. You know, learning that like when I'm anxious, that you know, that has a totally different feeling in the body than when I'm excited and happy. Um, and learning to listen when my body says no, like no, I don't want to do that. Um whereas the brain is often, you know, more caught up in what we're taught to do or what we're expected to do. So listening to myself, my body, and my own boundaries, that was a big part of the journey with um somatic healing. So yeah, those those two really changed the game for me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and the somatic healing sounds really, really powerful, and definitely I can relate to that sense of getting being more in touch with the body and needing to ground to work through those that that trauma and those emotions. And you mentioned as well the power of visualization. So is this something you would recommend to the listeners as a an effective tool?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. You know, I think there's a million different techniques out there, um, and many are specific to empathic or highly sensitive people. Um, and so I I would definitely recommend looking that up. There, there's authors um who are great at that. Um, I provide you know certain tools at the beginning of my work with clients to help give them that feeling of control as well. Um, so yeah, there are absolutely practitioners out there um who do both somatic and energy work um for you to find. Brilliant.
SPEAKER_01And do you have um a specific book or something that you would recommend to the listeners today? And it might be related to what we've been talking about or something completely different, but is there anything you would recommend?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, absolutely. My bookshelves are full of this stuff. Um so uh, you know, around energy clearing, I would definitely recommend the book Um Empath Survival Guide by Judith Orloff. Okay. Um so she's an MD doctor and also an energy medicine practitioner and an empath herself. And she wrote this book. Um, a lot of it is narrative and is helpful to like help orient yourself to what this experience is like, but it also has like lists of tangible energy clearing tools. So that's a really great starting place or companion to um getting used to or becoming empowered as an empath. Um, and then I would also recommend, you know, around somatic healing, I'll just name some thought leaders and um authors that people can look up. Um, you know, there's Peter Levine, Dan Siegel, Stephen Burgess, um Irene Lyons is um she does more online like classes for nervous system orientation that I've appreciated. Um, and Pat Ogden as well. So um all of those people are are psychologists and do somatic work, have been like thought leaders and um yeah, just amazing people to look up. And I guess one book in particular um that definitely changed my world was Um Healing Trauma by uh Peter Levine, which is he has many books, but that book is like a teeny tiny little book because it's a very specific process that you know the way that I bought it actually, it also had a CD. This was probably five or six years ago. Um, maybe it still does, but it he guides you through the actual process of um, you know, how to work with the body when it's activated or in a traumatic response and like daily practices that you can do if you um have experienced a lot of trauma to start feeling your body, feeling safe in your body. Um, yeah, it it was yeah, a game changer for me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, thank you for sharing some amazing resources there. And I will put the links to those books and the thought leaders you mentioned in the show notes so people can access them easily. Is the book you mentioned by Peter Levine Waking the Tiger Healing Trauma, or is that a separate book? It's a different one.
SPEAKER_00A different one, yeah. Okay, yeah, that one goes into more of the, if I understand correctly, that one goes into more of the theory and the understanding of the body, and that's great. Um, and I think more so for people that are looking for answers of why, why are why is my body activated, why has trauma happened, what is happening in my body. Whereas healing trauma is like I would say a 40-page little book that is like um, you know, talking you through, you know, how to shake and move and release trauma from the body, um, how to create boundaries and feel boundaries within yourself. You know, there was an exercise that I really loved that's like putting a string. Um, you're like you're sitting on the floor and putting a string around you where you feel like your boundary is, and then kind of doing a visualization with that of, you know, saying, saying basically telling people not to come within your boundary. And um yeah, there's just so many like that that are like very tangible. Let's do this so that I can feel safe and like finally have that safety in the body. Um, so yeah, his work is amazing, but that book in particular um is less about theory and more about practice.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, brilliant. That's really, really helpful. And I I think especially for highly sensitive people, because I know that setting boundaries is a common struggle for those who are highly sensitive. So I think that'll be a great resource for people.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. And I yeah, I I think um yeah, just what you said really resonates with me. I I think to add to that really quickly is like um when when you feel so overwhelmed by the world, there is a feeling of lack of boundary. Like your boundary is often constantly feels like it's being crossed, even if you know, to external or non-sensitive eyes, it doesn't look like much is happening. But energetically or emotionally or physically, for some people, it feels like boundaries are being crossed. And so you're right, like reinforcing and voicing even with yourself, even in practice, those boundaries is totally huge.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. So we spoke recently about the connection between highly sensitive people and spiritual seekers, and it has come up already in this conversation. I'm just wondering if you could speak a little bit more about what you think the connection is between those who are highly sensitive and being on this spiritual path.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So for me, I see for many people and for many of the clients I see high sensitivity or being empathic, it's often an entryway to a spiritual path or a healing path, or both. You know, for many people, those are synonymous. They were for me. Um, so being highly sensitive, like we've talked about, for many people it's a confusing process, um, especially in youth. And often it also creates a lot of challenges that lead to or necessitate healing later on. Um and so I see for both of those reasons, um, both asking and trying to find answers for why am I like this, um, trying to quote, like fix quote your problem. Um, you know, and as well as like healing actual, um, like we talked about, healing actual breaches or disruptions or traumas that have happened um sometimes as a result of being highly sensitive. Um, all of those lead to a healing path for many people. And so I see it, yeah, just as like it's a challenging but um highly rewarding path to take. Um, and that highly sensitive people I think often feel the need to take.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, definitely. And I also see this connection between highly sensitive people feeling a lack of belonging and also, you know, being on the spiritual path, there's a sense of not fully belonging to the mainstream, let's say. Um so yeah, would you say you relate to this as well? Is that a common? I mean, I think you've already mentioned this, but this is this a common theme that's showed up in your life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. You know, and I think it's important to name, um, like you said, so it's I don't see it as coincidental that highly sensitive people often feel ostracized or misunderstood or undervalued because of their gift. Um, you know, we live in a society that for many reasons and on many levels really doesn't value sensitivity. And I would even qualify that as does not value things that fall into like divine feminine energy, which is, you know, for people that don't know what that means, you know, I'm not saying that sensitivity is necessarily feminine or for femme or female people, but that, you know, in many traditions, um, there's divine feminine and there's divine masculine energy. And um, we are currently in a time when, you know, we're we're in a patriarchal society and capitalistic and um colonialist society. So at many levels, um, the divine feminine is devalued, you know, nurturing, compassion, sensitivity, creativity, you know, and you can see that even in how much professions in those areas are paid versus things that we think of as more masculine positions, um, things that use more intellect and rationale and um efficiency. And so um, you know, in years past and societies past, um, you know, I do a lot of reading on this kind of stuff and and in training as well to like decolonize practice. And, you know, in years past, societies past, and um, you know, a lot of indigenous societies or or matriarchal societies, like that would not have been the case. Those those gifts um were valued, are valued still in some continuing um societies. So I guess it's just important to name that like yeah, where where we live right now is challenging to be sensitive. It's not just the chaos of modern life, which is true, that makes it hard to be sensitive. But there's um, yeah, there's systems in place that um that make it hard to even value ourselves or see ourselves.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. And I agree with that so much that those qualities of nurturing, compassion, intuition uh are really not valued in our society. And that is evident in in the way our society is manifesting itself, right? So, with that being said, are there specific things that you think we can do to help guide highly sensitive people to embrace those gifts or to embrace uh yeah, these traits instead of feeling that they are not to be valued?
SPEAKER_00So the first thing that's coming to mind is you know, and I can relate to this on a personal level, being highly sensitive or empathic can often lead to a feeling of being a victim in some way, um, or something of a victim mentality that like the world is happening to you, that you don't have control or agency, or you know, that you're yeah, that you're a victim in some way. And that's like often that's true, you know. I don't want to invalidate that experience that like often traumatic or horrible things do happen, and you know, there are oppressive systems that make life difficult for certain people, like those things are all real, and so um it's not negating that potential reality for people, but really learning that there are things that you do have power over. Um, you know, I think that's a lot of what life coaching is about. Um, and I'm curious if this aligns with your beliefs too, you know, therapy um I feel like is often focused on the past, uh, excuse me, the past and healing, um healing those breaches and healing those traumas. Whereas coaching, we're looking at like how do you what do you want your life to be like? How can we make your life um feel exciting and nourishing? And how can you take active steps to create the life that you want? So um to me, like realizing that there are things that you do have power over, you know, even if you can't change your job in this moment, you know, what are the things that you can change within your job that will make you feel more empowered? Um, you know, things like that, to me, that's like the first step is realizing your power, essentially, if I had to give that a title. Um, you know, and I think connecting with other empaths is really important too. Um reflecting on my journey and um, you know, especially moving here to Boulder, Colorado, um, there's a lot of empaths, there's a lot of uh highly sensitive people, and a lot of them are healers as well. And so even in the past like year and year and a half for me that I've been here, um speaking the same language as people, you know, there's there's a nuance to how highly sensitive people experience the world that um can, like we were saying, leave you feeling um outside the norm a lot of the time. So I think connecting with community that actually understands you and supports you and empowers you, you know, who doesn't um doesn't fall into that um kind of helplessness state um is really important too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I definitely agree with that. I think community is so important. And to go back to what you said a bit earlier, yeah, I also agree that it's important for us to look at our past trauma and to go into that, but at the same time, we yeah, we do have a choice, we do have a choice as to where we want to take our life and embracing our power. Um, and I love what you said, realizing your power, because we all we all have it, um, and finding that acceptance as well for where we are. So um, yeah, I I think what you let said was really, really beautiful, and I definitely relate to that. Um so we're coming close to the end now. Is there anything else you'd like to share or anything you feel we've missed from this conversation? Yeah, there's something coming to mind.
SPEAKER_00Um I I recently did a social media post on this, and I've been turning this around in my brain too. So I think what I want to touch on is essentially that I don't think, you know, we're talking about how empaths and highly sensitive people often fall outside the norm, or at least feel like they do. You know, we're 20% of the population. Um, but it feels like we, you know, it often feels like we're navigating in the dark, we don't know what's going on, or who else is highly sensitive. So um, but really, you know, a lot of that can be labeled as abnormal or as it can have some negative connotations. Um, and I definitely took on that belief as a young person um that I just wasn't normal. Um, and what I'm realizing, I think, more recently, um partially through social media use, you know, connecting with other people doing um amazing work is just really that normal does not exist. I I don't believe that it does. Um I think that It's a myth that we're all told, and that we're all told and taught to feed into for the success of a society, you know, quote unquote success of a society. And yeah, I think that's really harmful for a very large number of people who often, like myself, have had in their head, like, am I normal? Is this normal? Um, is what I'm doing reasonable, rational? And essentially that's asking, you know, am I worthy of love? Am I worthy of um appreciation? Am I equal to the people around me? And yeah, I guess just to kind of sum that up, is um, I think we're all really weird and in a great way. Yeah. And um, you know, I think the the variety of mental and emotional and physical experience from person to person runs the gamut, like is so diverse, yeah, in a way that we don't even have a window into because we are all pretending to be normal. Um so I guess I just want to name that for any listeners that are feeling abnormal or like they're um somehow less um or don't measure up that I don't believe that that exists. And um it's a myth that we're all kind of feeding into, so we can choose to disrupt that um as well within ourselves and and in society too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, thank you for saying that. And I think that is a great place to end. Um there definitely is no such thing as normal, and it is a myth, and I think the attempt um to try and fit into that quote unquote normal is where all of our pain comes from, right? Because we're we're trying to fit into this box that we don't fit into. So yeah, I think that is just so powerful to, like you said, name that. So is there anywhere you can direct listeners to go and find out more information about your work or the resources mentioned today? Do you have a website or something that people can check out to find out more about you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. So they can visit my website at aubreyb oh excuse me, aubreybund coaching.com. And that's spelled A-U-B-R-E-D. I always have to spell that on the phone. Um and um I recently uh posted a free guided visualization uh that you can get uh by joining my email list. And essentially I guide you through a process of meeting your future self, um, which is the version of you that has never been wounded, who is fully healed, that has all their needs met. Um it's just our wisest um self that we can connect to and ask advice from. So um I guide you through that process if you want to join my email list. Um, I also offer free discovery sessions that are about 30 minutes, um, where I talk with you about what you're looking for, um, what you're wanting to create in your life, and we get a feel for whether it's a good fit for coaching. And um see. Yeah, they can also follow me on social media. I'm at uh Aubrey Brown Coaching on both Instagram and Facebook, and would love to connect and hear from anybody who listened to this and what their thoughts are.
SPEAKER_01Fantastic. And I will also put the links to your website and your social media in the show notes so you can access them easily. So thank you so much for joining today. It was great to talk to you, and I found it really, really inspiring. So thank you.
SPEAKER_00Oh, thank you so much, Jules. I'm so glad we were able to connect and figure this out, and yeah, I'm honored to be here. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for joining me this week on Highly Sensitive Humans. Make sure to visit my website, highly sensitivehumans.com, where you can subscribe to the show and find out more about my upcoming workshops, my online eight-week course, and where I also offer one-to-one coaching for highly sensitive people. And if you found value in the show today, I'd really appreciate a rating. Or if you'd simply share this episode with your friends or other highly sensitive people, that would help support this podcast.