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Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast
The Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast offers insight into the world of the Highly Sensitive Person, and helps those who identify with the traits of high sensitivity to feel more empowered and resilient without denying their authentic gifts.
Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast
Embracing your Strengths and Gaining Confidence as an Introvert with David Hall
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After a short break, I'm excited to announce the Highly Sensitive Human Podcast is back with Season 2!
In this first episode of Season 2, I speak to David Hall, who is an Introvert Champion, Podcaster, Author and Speaker. We talk about how to gain confidence and connect with your strengths as an introvert. Not all Highly Sensitive People are introverted, but around 70% of HSP also identify with being introverted. We talk about the overlap between these traits and various tools and strategies for embracing your introversion.
David Hall, M.Ed., is the creator of QuietandStrong.com. He is an author, blogger, podcaster and speaker on a mission to help introverts discover their strengths and honor their needs. David has also spent 20+ years working in higher education, and has given many workshops, trainings, and presentations on personality, strengths, and introversion/extroversion. His book, Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts, helps readers understand themselves and their introversion to be more successful in managing their time and productivity.
Stay in touch with David Hall:
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David's Book: Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts
About the Host: Jules De Vitto is a transpersonal coach, trainer and experienced educator for Highly Sensitive People. She helps those who identify with the traits of high sensitivity to navigate emotional overwhelm, step into their authentic power and align with their true purpose in life. She is a published author and wrote one of a series of books on Resilience, Navigating Loss in a time of Crisis. Her research has also been published in the Transpersonal Coaching Psychology Journal and Journal of Consciousness, Spirituality, and Transpersonal Psychology.
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The Highly Sensitive Human Academy™ - join our 3-month professional training: coaching Highly Sensitive People
I'm your host, Jules DeVito, and you're listening to the Highly Sensitive Human Podcast, a show that offers an insight into the world of the highly sensitive person. And helps those who identify with the traits of high sensitivity to feel more empowered and resilient without denying their authentic gifts. So welcome to today's episode. And in today's episode, I'm talking with David Hall. David is the creator of QuietandStrong.com. He is an author, blogger, podcaster, and speaker on a mission to help introverts discover their strengths and honour their needs. David has spent over 20 years working in higher education and has given many workshops, trainings, and presentations on personality, strengths, and introversion as well as extroversion. His book, Minding Your Time, Time Management, Productivity and Success, especially for introverts, helps readers understand themselves and their introversion to be more successful in managing their time and productivity. So welcome to today's episode. All right, so welcome, David, and thank you so much for being on the podcast today.
SPEAKER_00Oh, so great to be here with you, Jules.
SPEAKER_03It is, and I've been looking forward to this conversation for quite a while now. And obviously, you know this podcast is all about being a highly sensitive person. And I'm wondering if you could share a little bit more about your understanding or experience of what it means to be sensitive and how this also relates to introversion, as that's what's what we're going to be talking about today.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. And when we're talking about being highly sensitive or being an introvert or extrovert or being an empath, there's definitely overlap with all of these things. And they're also when I'm talking about them, there's not value judgments of good or bad. They're all good. And there's strengths that come with them, and there's needs that come with them. And we need to understand those. And of course, there's still so much understanding that needs to be had, and that's why we do what we do, Jules, right? So with being highly sensitive, you know, you're definitely aware of what's going on in your environment, more so than other people. Um and there a lot of gifts come from that, but you also have a lot of needs. And um and again, you know, you might also be an empath and be sensitive to the needs of others. Um you could be you could be highly sensitive and an empath and an introvert, or highly sensitive and an empath and extra. All these combinations can go together. And um, you know, sometimes people think, well, all highly sensitive people are introverts, and well, no, it's I think it's about uh, you know, they say in the whole overall population, 15 to 20 percent are highly sensitive, and out of those, you know, 70% are introverts and 30% are extroverts. So there's just a lot of combinations to our personalities. We're and even then, even when we're talking about these things, we're still none of us are exactly the same. So there's a lot we can learn about these different things, but at the same time, you know, we're still all unique individuals, are we pretty complex as individuals?
SPEAKER_03Absolutely, and I agree with what you're saying. There's so many overlaps, and there are so many labels as well, and it can become quite confusing for people. And I know that there's a lot of misconceptions or confusion around what it means to be introverted. And I'm wondering if you could perhaps define that for us or bring some clarity as to what it actually means to be introverted.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. And part of the problem is that there you will hear a lot of different definitions, and that's something we still have a long way to go on. For me, it really means that we're turned inward more often than than not, you know, whereas the extrovert is is more focused on the outer world, the introvert's more focused on the inner world. Sometimes people say, well, the difference is where we get our energy. And I I think that that's part of it. I don't think that that's I don't think that by the by itself that when people say that's where we get our energy and we're drained by people, I think that's lacking. I think it's part of it. So those things are true, but I think it's so much more than that, that we're turned inward to our thoughts, that we're deep thinkers or deep feelers, and and um we may be drained by people. Sometimes we may be energized by the right conversations. Um, we may be if you're highly sensitive, you you could be drained by your environment, or if you're an empath, you could be drained by the feelings of others. And you just need to understand all of that. And but there's a lot of gifts that come from introversion where as a deep thinker, you can be very creative and innovative. You can come up with great solutions, you can have a great imagination. And so but with that, you know, you need to give yourself some space to use your gifts. You do need to give yourself some time to recharge. And um and also you need to give yourselves time to prepare. Um, so Jules, you've been on my show. I know you. Um, I've listened to your show, and and the things that we're talking about today, I've been talking about for a long time, but yet I still needed to give myself some time. You sent me some questions ahead of time. I still needed to give myself some time. What do I want to talk about today? And and put myself in the right frame of mind. Even though if we were just talking and I was gonna be on your podcast without any preparation, I'd probably do okay because this is something I'm I've become expert in. But but my preference was really to, you know, you sent me some questions and I really gave it some time to think about what I wanted to speak about today. So anyway, there's a lot of great things about being an introvert. There's a lot of strengths, and you know, it really comes to us very naturally. And when we're talking about all these things, being highly sensitive or empathic or introvert, extrovert, they're very natural. They're not things we can change, but we can really learn to embrace who we are and and just really, you know, find success and happiness in being who we are, but also sharing our gifts that we we uniquely have with with others in the world.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I find it fascinating. I know obviously we have spoken about this before because I came on your podcast as well, and we we spoke about a similar topic. And one of the things I find fascinating is I'm introverted and highly sensitive. And I do go inwards, as you were describing. I'm a deep thinker and I enjoy being in my inner world quite a lot, but I also am very social and I love connecting with others, and that's where I get a lot of my energy from when I'm around like-minded people and deep thinkers as well. So I'm just wondering if you could maybe talk about your experience with that because I I think that is uh a myth as well about being introverted. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I'm so glad you brought that one up because and and and so many people, you know, uh, in talking with so many people, I get comments, I get, you know, in discussion. Just they describe just what you said. Oh, well, I can't be an introvert because I like people. I'm like, no, you're still an introvert. Absolutely. It's beautiful. You're still an introvert, just like you described. And it that's a big myth that that we don't like people because we absolutely do. And again, everybody's different. There may be people out there that really want to spend most of their time alone, but that's not my experience. That's not the general population, that's not the general introvert experience. Um, we do need connection, and I think the pandemic really showed us that is you know, there was a lot of talk about what introverts need and don't need. Um, you know, some people got some more uh more space that they didn't have before that they really enjoyed, but there were also some lonely introverts out there that weren't getting enough connection. And um it's it's not that we we hate people, it's just we tend to like uh, like you said, like-minded, uh closer. We we tend to like a closer, um a smaller, tighter group of friends, or you know, maybe it's one-on-one conversations. Like you're a coach, you know, you have one-on-one conversations that you probably very much enjoy, and and you're you use your gifts in those in those coaching sessions. And so it may be a smaller group, or it may be, you know, where you're talking about things that you're passionate about, like like we are right now, right? And and so it's not that we don't like people, it's just that we might not want to go into the networking event where there's a hundred strangers and you're supposed to bounce around from person to person. That type of activity doesn't really suit us, you know. It's we want to have deep connection, we want to have deeper conversations, and and sometimes it can be very charging. You know, you can you can feel very energized by having a great conversation with another person on a topic that you care a lot about. So, but even even so, even if you're you're energized, sometimes you might still need a break after having a great conversation, you know, on a deep topic with somebody, you still might need a break after. So it's just kind of knowing what you need. But we definitely need people, we like people. It just might we might uh need people in different doses than an extrovert might need.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, absolutely. I really relate to that. And it's interesting because it brings me to my next question, where for a long time I would experience a bit of a conflict in terms of me being introverted, because I worked as a teacher for a long time, over 10 years. Uh, this was before I became a coach. And I know that you work in higher education too. And when I was working as a teacher in schools, I was in primary education, I noticed how for myself as a teacher, the environment really wasn't suited for introverts. I mean, as a teacher, you're you're speaking, you're talking all day. But also for the students, um, I found the education system isn't really adapted or suited for introverted children. And I'm wondering, yeah, what do you think some of the struggles are growing up in a world, in the world that we live in currently as an introvert?
SPEAKER_00You know what fortunately we are learning more about our different personality traits and types. And and, you know, when I was a kid, there was no talk of this whatsoever. It again, um, introversion still came to me quite naturally, you know, and and I was often, you know, I probably was considered a quiet kid, you know, I had a deep imagination. Um, I I did, you know, I had some good friends growing up, and it was like that tighter circle that I was talking about. But yet, you know, there were some times definitely in school where, you know, where I wasn't understood, or, you know, I may be not prepared for whatever was going on in the classroom, that kind of thing. You know, I I've had a couple of teachers on my podcast, uh, just on one thing you said yourself as a teacher, it was really interesting because they did need to manage, and there's some great introverted teachers out there, but it was fascinating. They did need to manage their their energy, and they both did it a little bit differently. So the one teacher who was an elementary or primary teacher, um, she got in before all the other teachers, so she kind of set her, you know, set set her day first thing in the morning at you know, quiet. And then at lunchtime, that was always just her time, you know. And sometimes when you're doing that, people might think, oh, that's strange, or you're being antisocial or whatever, but she just established, you know what, this is what I need, this is my time. Um, and and then when it was time to go home, she'd already done her pre-work in the morning, so she didn't have anything else that she had to do for the so she went home. So she had a great strategy for that. And then the other, the other one, she um she actually valued knowing exactly what her day looked like, and it was, you know, that she was gonna have this free period here and this time here and this time here. But then she became a consultant after that, and it was actually harder for her when she had less structure and more just meetings at random times, but they both had to address their energy, and they also both really just looked at ways of of empowering introverts in the classroom to have their voices heard. Like, you know, one just made sure that she made a solid connection with every student in the class, and that was like a priority from the beginning. And sometimes she would get flack from her administrators, like, hey, you gotta you gotta start more on the learning, like right up front. But she's like, Nope, these these children are gonna learn better when they know that I have a connection with them, and she prioritized that. The other one used a lot of technology, and she would do sometimes where they call it flipped classroom, where she would actually um do the lecture, and then you know, they could watch that as homework and then respond to the lecture in classroom so they are prepared, or she would let them do some of their homework like or their assignments on video where they had time at home to prepare. And she said that one of the best assignments that she ever got was from one of the quietest kids when she allowed them to do a video, and he had the time to prepare, he had the time to put some thought into it. He may have been able to redo it, but he was allowed to prepare and then put together this masterpiece. So I think there's a lot of things that we can do in the classroom, and and then some of it is just really helping the introverted student themselves know hey, you've got some great strengths, you have some needs, and it's all okay. It's normal and it's a beautiful thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I'm really relating to everything you just shared. Uh, when I worked as a teacher, I was the one that got there early in the morning.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03It was still dark out, no one else was there. And I really enjoyed that time in the morning. That's also when I did my planning. Um, and that really worked for me. And also I relate to and I remember the importance of creating quiet time in the classroom because normally the classroom was quite noisy, schools are very noisy places, but just having that quiet time for myself and the students. So this relates to being introverted and highly sensitive children as well. So the things you were sharing, I was relating how that is so uh applicable to highly sensitive children as well as introverted children. Uh, and I know uh Susan Kane talks about this in her book Quiet as well. And so many highly sensitive children and people and introverts can struggle with confidence and low self-esteem as well. So, from your perspective, how do introverts and highly sensitive people gain confidence?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that's very important. And another another big myth about introversion is that introversion is is synonymous with being shy and it is not. And you can absolutely be a shy introvert, or you could be a shy extrovert. And what to me, shyness is something that you can overcome, and a lot of it for me is understanding, like for me, you know, I used to be shy, especially as a kid, but for me, understanding my introversion and its strengths and also my needs, that was what helped me to overcome my shyness. And so in overcoming shyness and then gaining gaining confidence is kind of the same thing for me. It's really understanding who you are, that you have great gifts as an individual, and that you know your needs are very valid, even if they're different from somebody else's needs, and that you have great gifts to offer the world. And if you can understand all that, then you can gain confidence, but you have to understand that you know you have gifts, they're gonna be different from maybe your friend or your colleague, but you need to use your gifts. And and like as an introvert, um one of the things is we naturally think and then speak, it's not a choice in a lot of cases. It's in fact, there's a lot of biology behind it. I I'm not an expert in biology, so I I'll just say that. Uh, but we it's not like you're trying to uh choose your words carefully, it's just you really just have to think first. And if you don't understand that, and somebody else who an extrovert who naturally um speaks in order to think, and they're speaking, you're thinking, and they're saying, Why are you so quiet? Especially when it's a child, that can make you be shy. But if you understand, hey, um I'm gonna think about this, and it's a good thing, I'm gonna come up with something really good. I'm gonna put my thoughts together in an articulate way, and that's that's a good thing about me, then you can gain confidence. And um, you know, my my website and my podcast is called Quiet and Strong, and I'll just tell you a really quick story about that. So I I went to a strengths workshop where I was actually being trained to be a facilitator, and uh Gallup calls it, uh it's called Gallup Strengths, it was called Strengths Finder, Strengths Quest. And, you know, it's like one of those three-day workshops where you do lots of uh, you know, there's definitely whole group activities, small group activities, individual reflection. So three days of lots of participation and and things, you know, either as a group or at your table. And I, you know, I was loving it. I'm I'm very into strengths. I think you know, we have a lot to learn about that. And so I thought I was participating quite a bit, right? And at the end of the three days, the facilitator just kind of pulled me aside and she said, You're quiet and strong. And she was actually giving me a compliment. She was saying, When people when you speak, people listen. And she was saying that I didn't speak off all the time, I wasn't talking nonstop, but that I was carefully thinking and that when I spoke, people listened to me. And so I it she was giving it as a compliment, and that really stuck. And and we just need to understand those things that are good about us, and that, you know, I'm never gonna talk nonstop. I don't really want to now, but you know, it there was times where I thought, well, why can't I be more like that? Why can't my words come more freely to me? But part of just gaining confidence is understanding there is something really good about me or something really good about you that we have great things to offer.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and it's such an important reminder. As you're talking, I'm really relating it to how often in group conversations, especially on Zoom, I've been finding that it's difficult if you are introverted or highly sensitive. As I am to get your voice heard because normally others are jumping into the conversation when you're still processing or considering what you want to say. And what I take away from what you just shared is we really need to be advocates for our needs and let others know what we need, perhaps in settings such as that, letting others know that we we do need a few minutes to process before we're going to be able to share what we need to share. And it is okay to let other others know that we're needing that in that situation. So that feels really, really important.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we could do a whole episode on just that. And I have um, it's it's it uh, you know, definitely virtual meetings are here with us to stay. We'll still do, you know, in-person meetings are coming back. The the trickier one I think is the hybrid meeting. But when it comes to meetings, however they're offered as introverts, we do need to do our best preparation beforehand. And part of advocating for our needs is hey, what's the agenda? You know, can I look at that ahead of time? Um, it can be very tricky, especially in larger meetings, to you know, if if people are talking, sometimes talking over each other. Um we just need to continue to work on um figuring out the the best ways, the best practices and etiquette behind all of that. And you know, before the meeting, as an introvert, make sure you, you know, write down the points you want to make or write down the questions you want to be sure to ask, all those kinds of things. Do your best preparation. It's never gonna be perfect, you know. There's gonna be things that you might think of or other things that could happen, but do your best preparation and and definitely uh do your best to participate in the meeting. If need be, sometimes you might have to throw some things in after, you know, just give yourself that space to do that. But but yeah, meetings are definitely an important part of understanding as we need to prepare, but also just making sure our voices are heard.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, really good advice, and it is really important that our voices are heard. And you've mentioned your podcast a few times, and I know that you've been publishing about introvert success for many years. So, what inspired you to start the Quiet and Strong podcast?
SPEAKER_00Okay, so yeah, I had been blogging probably for about so right now I've been blogging for about eight years, and again, it was just you know, trying to get the word out there, bring some understanding to introversion. And then during the pandemic, um there was a lot of talk, we kind of mentioned this briefly, there was a lot of talk about introverts. Oh, introverts are loving this, right? You know, they get to be alone all the time. And and I was having conversations with people, and much like what you brought up, someone might say, Well, I you know, I need my space, but I also like people. And there was a, you know, am I an introvert? I'm an extrovert, you know, what's my label? And there's just a lot of misunderstanding, and so I just really wanted to give more of a voice to understanding. And so, you know, World Introvert Day, January 2021, I decided to launch, and I did a lot of solo episodes where I shared a lot of things that were on my mind, and then I invited guests such as yourself, Jules. Your episode was was wonderful, and uh this week I hit my hundredth episode, so it's been a great ride, and there's been great guests like yourself that have shared their own stories, and I think that's so important because and many of my guests say, I thought something was wrong with me. And they learn to embrace or lean into who they are, and I think it's so important because even people right now that are listening to us might think something is wrong with them, and there is not, there's nothing wrong with you. You just you might what I always say is there was nothing, there was never anything wrong with my introversion, but what was wrong was my lack of understanding. And so I've had these guests that have talked about um how they have learned to embrace some strategies for success, and it might be a coach or a therapist, or it might be just someone that's successful in business in some aspect or public speaking, or someone that's helps others overcome shyness or social anxiety, and they have different strategies that they've learned, and also like like we did a little myth busting here, it's all also plenty of myth busting. So it's been a great, a great opportunity just to show different um successful introverts and how they came to embrace that. And you know, not all introverts is some introverts have always been confident, you know. Not all introverts thought something was wrong with them, but too many do. And so that's that's what it's been all about. So anyway, just hit episode 100 and it's it's been a great time. And you know, I have no plans to quit anytime soon.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and congratulations, 100 episodes. That's a big, big achievement. And it feels it's so important as well. You're educating and bringing awareness to people who might not be introverted themselves. So I think it's great for those of us who are introverted to have this awareness, but also there's that cultural, uh, it's like breaking the cultural norm as well, that there's something wrong with you if you're introverted or even being highly sensitive as well. So that that feels a to be a crucial piece of this as well.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And you know what, even if you know, I I mostly have had introverted guests, but I've had a couple extroverts. And, you know, in both cases, they understood what introversion was. And that's an important part, you know. I I I definitely am not probably gonna let someone on that doesn't have a good understanding, but it goes a long way. We, you know, I'm not an extrovert. I but if I can understand what they need, they can understand what I need, they can understand where I shine, I understand where they shine. That's that's what it's all about is is everybody's important, you know. We need introverts, we need extroverts, but we have to there it needs to be understanding on both sides.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. And I'm wondering, what's your opinion on the ambivert? That appears to be another label I've heard recently, and I'm wondering what's your opinion on that?
SPEAKER_00Okay, um, I don't I don't really use it. I what how is my opinion is how I see it used, it's not helpful because how I see it used. So what you describe for yourself, a lot uh the way you described yourself, and it's the same way I would describe myself. A lot of people could say, Oh, you're an ampert. But what what that typically is saying is that I mean my time alone, but I also like to be social. And what I'm saying is introverts like to be social. So I don't have a lot of I I don't use the term because I I think it's misused. I think it's I think it's used as, oh, I have the best of both worlds, I'm okay. But what it doesn't do for me is it doesn't say what are your strengths, what are your needs? It's more like, and I know you you you you and I feel the same way about labels, they can be useful, but they're not meant to box you in. And it's it then it's almost like that's the goal. Okay, well, I'm not an introvert, I'm not expert, I'm okay, but what what does that do for you? Do you know how much time do you need to spend alone? Do you know how you need to prepare for things? Do you know how just for example, you know, what it takes for you to give a great speech? I I don't think it's useful. And I think it's more about you know, finding out who you are. And, you know, labels are very helpful for us because I can learn from someone that's you know similar to me, or I can learn about somebody that's different than me. But you have to get down at what is how does this help you? You know, what kind of things do I need to do to recharge? What kinds of ways do I need to use my gifts? So that's that's where I fall with that one. And that's how I see it used is more of a is uh just hey, I'm okay, but I'll say no matter if you're introvert or extrovert, you're okay. You don't need to call yourself an ambivert. And you know, it is a spectrum, you know, continuum. We're we're all different, you know. And I we're gonna need more time to do different, you know, things. You know, you know, you and I are both saying we're introverts, but we're not gonna be exactly the same. We're we're complex people. So anyway, long answer. I I just I think it's more helpful to get to know who you are and what you need, where you shine, and the label, and that's that's what that's how I've seen it used, is it's just a label. I don't see a lot behind it that's helpful.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. And I really agree with what you're saying. I think there can be too much emphasis on the labels and having to fit into a particular box. And as you pointed out, we've we've spoken about this, that uh that's not necessarily helpful. It's more about understanding yeah, tools and strategies to empower ourselves. And that really brings me to the next question. Because I know that you've written a book called Minding Your Time, and it's all about time management and productivity, especially for introverts. I actually have a copy here, which I'm very excited about. I know you can't see it, but I have a copy.
SPEAKER_00Um, and so what you know what it was nice, it was nice for me to see it. I I think there.
SPEAKER_03So, what are some strategies that are different about time management for introverts?
SPEAKER_00Yes. And so, you know, just figuring out introversion, it's been a long journey for me. And as I was, you know, figuring out that I was an introvert, I was also extremely busy. You know, I have a full-time job. I mean and my wife run a business uh separately from my full-time job. Uh have three kids. Definitely they were younger and you know, needed a lot of a lot more uh time and and um I'm blogging. And so while I'm studying introversion, I'm also studying time management because I'm really just trying to get a handle on on all the things that are coming at me. And what I'm discovering is I'm I'm learning a lot of things, but I'm not seeing the specific needs of introverts called out in these many different resources I'm looking at. And I'm I'm figuring out that as an introvert, you know, I do need some space. And again, there's a lot of talk about recharge, like we were saying. I think recharge is a very important need where you need some alone time, but we also need alone time for many other things. You know, we need some time to think, to plan, to dream. Sometimes some of our work we might really need quiet to focus. And so we need to take all those things into consideration. What does your ideal work day look like? You know, we've talked about preparation. You know, am I prepared for that meeting? I need to put some preparation time into my schedule. I need to review my schedule so I can have preparation or maybe some quiet time to prepare for that meeting or work on that project. And and I I like to think that we can learn um a lot from fellow introverts, whether it be time management or if I want to be a excuse me, a better public speaker, I could probably learn techniques from a public speaking expert that is also an introvert, you know, that brings that introverted needs and strengths into the conversation. And so that's that's uh why I wrote that. Um, because there are specific things that we need to do as part of our time management strategy. One of the best things I ever did was, you know, it kind of goes along with when you were a teacher, I give myself the first 90 minutes, just blocked out, to have have quiet time, and that's part of my strategy. And an extrovert might not need that. But uh, but you know, then they might think, well, you know, why are you doing that? And I'm like, because it's what I need.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And I also relate to that being self-employed. I have a lot of meetings throughout the day, but it's really important for me to have space in between those meetings. I would really struggle, struggle with back-to-back calls and not having time in between because I need that time to process, I need some quiet time to reflect. And I also like to have that time again in the morning before I jump into any Zoom calls or meetings, space to look at my schedule for the day and decide what I'm going to be doing. So I will definitely put the link for your book in the show notes for people to access that as well. It's definitely a recommended read. And I'm not sure if there's anything else you wanted to share about the book.
SPEAKER_00Maybe another thing that is really key for us is we do have a lot of ideas as introverts. I think we have a lot to say. Sometimes people say, oh, well, introverts don't have much to say, but you know, look at us, a couple podcasters, introvert podcasters. We have we have a ton to say. And we have a lot of great ideas. And part of your time management strategy is also learning to capture those ideas and learn to prioritize them. You know, definitely a big part of, you know, we have a lot of great ideas, we can't do them all, is figuring out, you know, what am I gonna get get done? And also, too, sometimes people are turned off by the word productivity because they think it just means busy. And that's not what I mean by it at all. It's it's are you getting the important work done that you want to do? And you need to have a plan for that. You need to be able to put your needs and strengths into some kind of plan. And that's what productivity is. It's not being busy, it's getting the right things done that you want to do.
SPEAKER_03Right. And perhaps it's even the opposite of being busy in that if you're being productive, you're going to get more done within a specific time frame, hopefully, so that you do have space for downtime and self-care in between the work or the productivity.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, downtime and self-care are so important. And also, just as you were saying that, I was also just thinking, you also, you know, they call it you can get into a state of flow where you have your great ideas. And, you know, when you experience that, there's there's much, not much else like it where you're, you know, you're really you're you're just you're doing work that is very uh energizing to you and meaningful to you, and you're not worried about time, is me, you know, is that's you know, we're not gonna always be in in this like a state of flow all the time, but the more we can do that, the better. And and that's that's what that quiet time could do for us.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, absolutely. And I'm just wondering if if you had one takeaway that you could share from your book or one tool, because I know you have so many that you talk about in the book. Is there a particular one which would stand out to you? I know I'm putting you on the spot here.
SPEAKER_00If if I'm limited to one, I would just say that introverts, we really do our best work when we're prepared. And so, you know, preparing for important conversations or meetings or presentations, that doing that pre-work is very valuable. And you're not always gonna be perfectly prepared. There's you just not, and so do your best preparation and then give yourself some grace. There may be some awkward moments, but you know, do your best preparation, and then and then just with the preparation, we also have great gifts of reflection. And when you do something as an introvert, use that gift of reflection. You know what? I did good there. I could I I want to do this thing next time, and so preparation is key.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, brilliant, and a good amount of self-compassion as well in the in the reflection, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. That's it's so important that we and there just needs to be more of that all around, you know. Uh, we're all busy people, we all want to do more. Uh be aware and appreciative of those great things that we're already doing. Well, we want to get better. Everybody wants to get better and do more things, but definitely appreciate the things that you're already doing that are going well.
SPEAKER_03Apart from your book and the your podcast that we've spoken about, do you have a favorite book or quote you'd like to share for our listeners today?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'd say um there's a lot of great books out there on introversion. I'd say my favorite is from Dr. Lori Helgo. It's called Introvert Power. And um, you know, there was a time a while back when I was still really heavy into researching introversion. I went into the bookstore to find a particular book. I couldn't find it, they didn't have it, and I was on my way out, and just you know, there's some shelves right by the door, and her book just jumped out at me, Introvert Power. And and a couple things I got from that. Number one, just the title itself, and of course, is reinforced throughout the book that introverts have great power. And the other one was the other big takeaway from that is she really emphasized that introverts make up at least half, if not slightly higher, um, part of the population. A lot of people don't believe that. And when they don't believe it, it's because they don't understand what introversion is. That there's a lot of, you know, um, there's a lot of deep thinkers out there, but we all look different. Some might be very confident and outspoken and maybe counted as extroverts, but they're very talented, deep thinking introverts. And you know, before I read that, you know, there's a lot of oh, a third and other things like that. So about half of us. So her book has been very influential to me, amongst some other books too.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, brilliant. And as you were saying that, I started to question, you know, for someone who isn't sure if they're introverted or extroverted, where might you point them or what might you suggest to help them figure out who they are? Because I know some people might still be confused and wondering, am I introverted? Am I extroverted? And then they're not sure.
SPEAKER_00There's a few different things you can do. Uh, definitely a big part of my journey was taking the Myers Briggs. And, you know, it's it's not all about just introversion, extroversion. There's some other different um traits that you can learn about yourself. Um, and again, it's a tool, you know, it's a tool to get to know yourself. It's not like you have to take it with a grain of salt. You can find a free um personality assessment on the quiet and strong website, so you could do that. There's some great books out there. Um, hey, you know, you can listen to the Quiet and Strong podcast. And again, I mean, it's just a matter of thinking, what do you need? What are you good at? Um, so I liked the Myers Briggs. I liked um I mentioned Strikes Finder, or now it's called Gallup Strengths, was influential. There's other, there's other type of assessments. And again, it's it's all just, you know, get to know yourself, talk with other people. Sometimes you might talk with a coach or a counselor or therapist. There's all kinds of things that you can do, but definitely start, you know, start um reflecting and start taking that journey of of self-awareness and and learning about who you are, you know, reading some good books, listening to some good podcasts, taking some assessments or working with somebody.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, brilliant suggestions. And I know the Maya Briggs is really helpful, and there is a really high correlation between highly sensitive people and the INFJ personality type. Um, so I would recommend anyone who's listening who's highly sensitive and wondering about introversion to take the Myobriggs. And I'll I'll put the links to the other tests and your website in the show notes as well for everyone.
SPEAKER_01Thank you.
SPEAKER_03And is there anything else you'd like to share about this topic today before we bring this episode to an end?
SPEAKER_00You know, um, I think that we talked about a lot of great things. And again, just as a reminder, you know, you people are everybody has their own amazing gifts and strengths. You know, we can talk about in different groups to help to bring understanding, but just as we were just saying, get to know who you are, get to know what you need, and just value that, value the strengths and needs of others. And yeah, it's been great being on today, Jules.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, thank you so much for your wisdom and insight and knowledge as well. And I will put the links in the show notes, but is there anywhere in particular that listeners can go to find out more about your work and uh uh podcasts and the book?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the easiest thing to do is just go to quietandstrong.com. There'll be uh more information about the you can listen to the podcast from there. You can also listen to the podcast pretty much anywhere you listen to podcasts. Uh there'll be information about the book. There's uh couple hundred blog posts, so Quiet and Strong. You can find my social media channels, so quietandstrong.com.
SPEAKER_03Brilliant. Thank you so much. And they can start working their way through the hundred episodes of the podcast as well. Brilliant. Well, thank you so much. It's been wonderful talking to you today.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, Jules.
SPEAKER_03Thanks for joining me today on Highly Sensitive Humans. Make sure to visit my website, highly sensitivehumans.com, where I also offer one-to-one coaching for highly sensitive people and a members area with monthly community meetings. You can also visit the Highly Sensitive Human Academy to find out more about upcoming online trainings, including a three-month professional training on how to coach highly sensitive people, and a three-month professional training on working with highly sedative children. And if you found value in the show today, I'd really appreciate your rating. And you can also support the show by making a donation. Your donations are what enable the production of the podcast and enable the show to keep running.